June 2012
when people make a post
then you refresh your dash
and they deleted it
and you just sit there thinking
i saw that
- friend: let's go to a party
- me: i can't i'm ugly
- Socialism: You have 2 cows and you give one to your neighbor.
- Communism: You have 2 cows; the Government takes both and gives you some milk.
- Fascism: You have 2 cows; the Government takes both and sells you some milk.
- Nazism: You have 2 cows; the Government takes both and shoots you.
- Bureaucratism: You have 2 cows; the Government takes both, shoots one, milks the other and throws the milk away..
- Traditional Capitalism: You have 2 cows. You sell one and buy a bull. You herd multiplies, and the economy grows. You sell them and retire on the income.
- An American Corporation: You have 2 cows. You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk of four cows. Later, you hire a consultant to analyze why the cow dropped dead.
- A French Corporation: You have 2 cows. You go on strike because you want three cows.
- Japanese Corporation: You have 2 cows. You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk. You then create a clever cow cartoon image called Cowkimon and market them Worldwide.
- An Italian Corporation: You have 2 cows, but you don't know where they are. You break for lunch.
- A Swiss Corporation: You have 5000 cows. None of which belong to you. You charge others for storing them.
- Chinese Corporation: You have 2 cows. You have 300 people milking them. You claim full employment, high bovine productivity, and arrest the newsman who reported the numbers.
- An Iraqi Corporation: Everyone thinks you have lots of cows. You tell them that you have none. No one believes you and they bomb your arse. You still have no cows, but at least now you are part of a Democracy.......
- Counter Culture: 'Wow, dig it, like there's these 2 cows, man, grazing in the hemp field. You gotta have some of this milk!'
- Surrealism: You have two giraffes. The government requires you to take harmonica lessons.
- Fatalist: You have 2 doomed cows...
- A West-Country Corporation: You have 2 cows. That one on the left is kinda cute.
- A Brazilian Corporation: You have 2 cows. You pay taxes for 6 cows. You have to sell one cow in order to pay the taxes. Your remaining cow gets sick and dies while waiting for availability in the public vet hospital.
- Moffat: You have two cows. Both of them are your daughters time traveling from the past where they had a brief love affair with Da Vinci making you the rightful Queen of England.
- An Irish Corporation: You have a million cows because they're everywhere
- Tumblr: You have 2 cows. You ship them together and make GIF posts screaming about how much you love your cows, but they should stop existing because they are so perfect.
so i was watching narnia the other day and i had to pause
my blog is actually a horrific mess of different fandoms and things that don’t really relate to each other but i thought were funny
Pick up line
- Boy: I love that book that you're reading.
- me: should i make a sarcastic comment or not
the question is not “have i reblogged this already?” but “how many times can i reblog this until people notice?”
- teacher: you will be sorted into grou--
- me: can I work alone
I wonder how many people go on my blog and chose not to follow me
thanks for visiting
via sodamnrelatable
o hey let’s scroll on down the dashbo-
oh god no
fuck
i think one gif gets the job done why does this exist
is it possible to feel this much goddamn secondhand embarrassment
fuckS SAKE IT NEVER ENDS GOd damn no
no really you can feel free to stop anytime you want
grey boxes ok no im done
rip
I always get so nervous whenever I have a message because I think it’s someone finally coming to tell me what a dumbass I am
- me: i wish i was in that fandom so i could reblog that
If you’re a “nice guy” to a girl up until you realize she doesn’t want to date you, then go on about how she’s a cold shrew that friendzoned you and how no girls date nice guys, like, nah mate, girls do date nice guys. You just aren’t a nice guy. You’re a passive aggressive beta with internalized misogyny and a serious victim complex.
I need friends who won’t judge me for waking up at midnight and going back to sleep at 2 in the afternoon.
there iS A REASON I TYPE LIKE THIS
it buILDS UP THE EXCITEMENT
this is too boring
THIS IS OBNOXIOUS
look itS THE PERFECT BALANCE
